It is difficult sometimes to keep our students grounded and sometimes even more challenging to help parents understand that they do not need to speed their children’s training ahead. In this very competitive time that we live, every parent wants their child to excel at lightning speed in every direction. How many times have I sat down with a parent to explain to them the importance of training dancers in a timely manner? I have to admit that each year it seems to get worse and parents and children become more and more stressed. Helping them all to stay calm and stress-free is to our advantage as studio owners.
Let’s take the parents first. The parent who wants their child to be moved into all of the most advanced classes. The parent who insists that their child is an expert in each form of dance that they take, after studying for only one year. The parent who wants their child to be featured in any group number and the one who truly believes that their child is not only ready for a solo but should be in a Broadway show too! I am sure that I am not alone in having to deal with these issues each year. We do send out recommendations at the end of each year with a copy of each one given to the front desk; however, we always have to address the type of parent who wants to push their child ahead too fast. What some of them don’t realize is that it takes years to train a dancer and when children are growing they are presented with different technical issues along the way. If you let them go too fast, they will find that their basic training is not solidified and they will be vulnerable to injury. It can sometimes be extremely difficult to tell someone the truth because the reality is that not everyone wants to hear it. But in my experience, as long as I present it in a diplomatic and positive manner, it is usually received in a fairly good way.
I always stress the importance of gaining a strong foundation in ballet as I know that it will help their child progress in their dancing. At our school, any child going into a level 2 class must be taking ballet. Some parents question that and my reply is that whatever style of dance they are studying, the technical requirements of a level 2 class are more rigorous and the child could become injured when asked to perform that technique without understanding the basic principles of ballet. Parents have said to me, 'Well, my child just takes tap, why does she have to take ballet to go into a level 2 tap class?' My reply to that is, tap also uses port de bras, pirouettes, some leaps and steps that require stretched ankles and feet.
My favorite one is when the parent tells me her child needs to advance because she is bored and knows all the work. This is when it really helps to have your teachers work with a syllabus for each style of dance, because then you have the content that the student should have learned and if the parent insists I always recommend to them that they sit in as the teacher quizzes the student on the steps. It is a guaranteed way to demonstrate the student’s knowledge or, in some cases, lack thereof.
On occasions a parent will threaten to leave the school if they do not get their way. This can create a problem if you are counting on their registration money. However, in my experience it is better to remind that parent that they have entrusted their child to study dance with you and if they do not value your professional knowledge and expertise then you recommend that they find another studio that might be a better fit for them. Usually they will back down when they hear that, but if they don’t then, really, you are better off without them because they will be a constant source of irritation to you.
Keeping students grounded can sometimes be tricky especially when they are being told by their parents that they are better than anyone else and that they should have starring roles in everything. Some children have bad attitudes as a result of all of this, but I have found that they are generally pretty insecure and if shown in their classes that if they really work hard they can accomplish great things, they will respond favorably. This kind of student will often have negative behavior ranging from crying to being rude, creating unnecessary noise in class and basically doing anything to draw attention to themselves. They are constantly hearing the wrong messages from their parents and consequently believe that they are above your laws and rules. I like to try to minimize negativity toward a student. It is better for them to see that, if they behave correctly and work hard, they will be rewarded with a lot of my attention. That does not mean, however, that I will accept bad or disrespectful behavior from any student. If, after trying to show the student in a positive way that it is a much better idea to work correctly and behave well, they do not respond, then I will have no alternative but to go to the parent and tell them the same thing—that they brought their child to our school because they trusted our knowledge but, like any school, there are rules and procedures. If the child or the parent is not able to accept that then, once again, you are better off recommending that they find a studio that is more suited to them.
At the end of the day you will, I am certain, want your students and parents to be at your studio for the right reasons.
